When we get married we don’t anticipate the strife that can come along with two people trying to live happily ever after. We just dream of the wedding, the kisses and the rocking chairs we will sit in when we grow old. The problem is getting two people to those rocking chairs without marriage problems popping up. No one wants to hear the words, “save my marriage,” we just want the happily ever after part.
There are many ways in which you can strengthen your marriage and avoid the pitfalls that cause a trip to marriage counselling. You want a strong healthy marriage so follow these tips and you will be on your way to a happy marriage.
If you want to have a long lasting marriage then marry someone who spends money the same way as you do. Imagine the problems you have if you like shopping and you marry a tightwad. Or if you love the idea of saving but your husbands is out at every sports event on the planet. Shockingly most people marry someone who has the opposite spending habits as them, maybe it’s the chemistry or the risk involved but taking such a risk could hurt your marriage.
It’s no surprise that being close to your partner is going to benefit your marriage. But there is actually research that suggests that consistently touching your partner will actually strengthen the bond you have. So what this means is kiss, hug, fist-bump, hold hands, rub shoulders and slap that bottom because it’s all going to bring you so much closer. Do these things and do them often, and hey they are fun too so why not?
Remember the days when you first met when you couldn’t get enough of each other? Hands were everywhere and a minute alone was treasured and sex was a constant thing? Well those days should never die. Yes, everyone gets busy in life and sometimes one or both of you are too tired at the end of the day. But the healthier marriages out there include two people who like to have sex with each other…a lot. Sex reduces stress and can help after a bad fight…thinks makeup sex and then do it.
Being polite can fall to the wayside the more comfortable you get with your partner. But researchers have found that saying those two simple words can have an impact on your relationship. Researchers found that when one person did something nice for their partner often times the other partner didn’t express the gratitude even though they felt it. The receiver just assumed that it was known. But studies found that when you verbalize your gratitude that chances are the marriage will have less resentment and more satisfaction between the couple. Plus chances are when you say thank you more often you will see your partner doesn’t mind doing nice things for you.
When you get married, you find that you are around each other so much that you lose track of the fun of being married. Just because you are around that person all the time doesn’t mean it’s quality time. Dating brings out the fun in your relationship and reminds you both why you fell in love to begin with. Think about all the fun things you use to do together when you were dating such as picnics, long walks, hiking or going to museums. The things that brought you close in the beginning will have you feeling that closeness all over again. So get back into it.
Malini Bhatia is the founder of Marriage.com, a trusted resource helping millions of couples resolve their marriage issues and problems. Marriage.com connects advice-seekers with experts through its community and trusted content written by experienced marriage therapists and counsellors. Malini’s professional background is in business & marketing with a passion to helping people develop and maintain positive relationships. Malini lives in Los Angeles with her husband & two daughters.